I know weekends are not meant for one to sprawl on the couch and watch TV. And if you still insist on it like I do, it is at your own peril as you will be treated to the most boring programs particularly during the day. On the so called entertainment channels it is usually the replay of the saas-bahu serials or one of those singing competitions – every channel has its own either to select the Golden voice of India or the Indian idol or the Chotey Ustad or Li’l champs and their regional versions. There is a lot of good singing, even more of drama and glamour and hype and plenty of tears in the elimination rounds. What is distressing about these is that many times it is not the children but their parents who cannot handle it when their child is eliminated. The extent of the pressure this must put on the kids became clear when a little girl stopped her song midway and announced that she wanted to leave the competition. Reason: the previous week another child had been eliminated and on hearing this her father had a heart attack and had to be hospitalised. Fearing a similar fate for her father were she to be eliminated in future rounds, the girl decided to opt out of the competition.
Why can’t the parents be a little more relaxed about these contests and their results? After all their kids are on television, they are selected to perform because they are among the top 30/40/50 contestants. Isn’t that good enough? Of course it would be great if their child tops but there can only be one winner right? Does this make everyone of the others a loser? And it is not like it is the final concert for them – this is just the beginning and if they do not see realistically where they stand vis a vis the best, how can they improve?
And if parents do not have the right approach to a competition, how can they inculcate in the child a sense of balance in the face of failure and to learn from every failure.
I understand that it is natural for a parent to feel that their child is the best but then to work oneself to a heart attack when the child loses?
If this is the case with a singing competition, one can imagine the kind of pressure on children when it comes to studies. No wonder bright kids who feel that they have not lived up to parental expectations commit suicide. An article here in the Times of India today says “In 2006, 5,857 students — or 16 a day — committed suicide across India due to exam stress. And these are just the official figures”. And I assume it must have increased in the past two years. And what is even more scary is the what the president of the Counsellors association of India says:
“for every student who commits suicide, there are 10 others who have attempted it.”
I do not have any figures from the past to compare and decide if there has indeed been an increase in the number. It could be true that the percentage of teens breaking under examination stress is the same or even less considering the total number of teen population today. And it may also be true that all these may not be cases related to examination stress. But we do have these numbers now and we do know that at least a large proportion of these happen around the time of examinations and results. And today’s parents are more educated and more informed and more conscious about parenting. Some children perform well under pressure but most don’t. And why should there be this kind of pressure anyway? So that they can be called “Ravi ki ma”? have you seen that Bournvita advertisement? I think Ravi ki ma should go get a life and have her own identity than try to get it vicariously through her son’s achievements.
Is it possible to help these children overcome their stress with some support from the teachers and parents? Or is it our examination system that needs to be changed so that there is more continuous assessment rather than assessing a one time performance in the board examination? It is also sad that the 12th standard children have multiple pressures from the board exam, the entrance examinations for IITs, Engineering/ medical colleges and what not. This is really the most difficult time of their lives. Certainly this stress can be eliminated by using the board results as the criterion for admission. or let there be no board exams . Let the children finish school after 12 years and then enter college based on a competitive examination depending on the discipline they choose.
All that means government and committees and many years to decide. in the meantime, whether it is a school exam or a competition we need to impress upon the children that it is important to give one’s best but there is life beyond the results, however bad they are. And it is important to learn from one’s failures and not be devastated by it or run away from it. And this shows the complete failure of our educational system to build their personality and to instill in them the ability to
“dream--and not make dreams your master”,
“think--and not make thoughts your aim” and above all
“meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same”
Oh first we must teach these to the parents so they don't get heart attacks if their children do not top. SIGH...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment