Vanaprastha* for the 21st century

My uncle lives in a community of, for and by retired people in South India where they live in private apartments and all their daily needs such as food, housekeeping, and medical care are provided by the community and charged for. He is 72 and suffers from severe hip and spine problems that force him to be confined to his bed for weeks at a time. Rest of the time he is well enough not to depend on anyone to get by. His wife is 64 and has bronchial problems. Her mother who is 94 stays with them. She is perhaps in better health than both of them except that she is weak due to her age. It is a sensible arrangement they have chosen as both their sons work and live abroad and here their days go by without having to worry about daily irritants in terms of house help and other logistics. But then there are times when they could do with some support from younger members of the family and their non-availability hits home hard.

Last month my aunt had to undergo Coronary artery by-pass surgery and she almost decided against the operation because there was no one around to help her during the post-operative phase and she was worried about leaving her mother alone without any help. Given the economic conditions and job losses, they did not want to ask their sons to take extended leave. And the sons did not insist on coming either. I am not judging them as this is perhaps just illustrative of how relationships have become secondary to employment interests. I almost wrote family ‘responsibilities’ there instead of relationships but I am no longer sure of how much responsibility the children have toward their parents. It seems that , like in the west, we have also come to believe that parents bring their children into this world so they need to accept responsibility for them while children owe nothing to their parents and so filial responsibility is probably an outdated concept.

She finally went through the surgery with help from extended family who gave her post operative care and made sure that her mother was not left alone.
While I was with my aunt she said something that made me think:
the doctors tell me that I have got another lease of life, at least another 10 years with this operation. But tell me what do I want another ten years for?” Perhaps it is the pain that she was going through that made her say that; or perhaps she meant it because she really doesn’t think she needs another 10 years. And she is a person who is highly educated and has varied interests such as books, music and crosswords. It is not lack of interests but a sense of purposelessness that made her say this.

Improvements in health facilities have given us extra years to live but neither our social system nor our infrastructure have changed enough to help us use these extra years purposefully. Traditionally old age was a period spent in pursuit of religious activities, accumulating good Karma away from the demands of the material world. But what about those who are not interested in such pursuits? They have a choice of baby sitting their grandchildren or watching unlimited hours of soaps, cricket or news. If one is an out doors person opportunities are restricted:
In cities like Bangalore, many new residential colonies do not even have proper footpaths and it is quite unsafe for the elderly to venture out on these roads even for a walk.
Very few areas have even a tiny park for these people to meet and spend the evening.
Concerts and plays mean commuting long distances for which transport is either unavailable or unaffordable in retirement.
Even public libraries are few and far between.
Most activities for entertainment and amusement are, in any case, aimed at a wallet-share of the young with a high spending ability and willingness.
Confined for the most part within the four walls of their homes, it isn’t a surprise that they do not have much to look forward to.

These are reflective of our attitude toward old age. Maami ,in a very interesting post here calls this attitude ageism. Such attitudes have been ingrained in our collective psyche as our culture and more specifically Hinduism imposes 'borders' on the ageing process. It clearly defines the stages of one's life, and people seem to take it that they cannot do certain things at certain ages, whereas the reverse in fact is true in today's economic, globalised world: feel free to do the things you always wanted to do, and if you can afford it, enjoy the best of what is available, don't care about what the world thinks of you as long as you think it is the right thing to do.
Spend your day at a satsang by all means if that is your idea of finding meaning in life but do not judge someone else who prefers to spend a day at the mall or who likes to relax with a pedicure or a facial. Finally they are at the age when they can make informed choices without being told what is the ‘thing to do’ or the ‘way to be’. Both airlines and railways have concessions for senior citizens. People should make use of these and travel to places together if their health allows them to. Above all, they must accept responsibility of ageing on themselves, i.e. not be fatalistic, exercise regularly, be disciplined in one's dietary habits, and search/reach out for those habits that reinforce critical requirements in healthy ageing, such as socialising with similar interests-seeking peoples, joint activities/outings, charity work,. Markets will keep up with their demands once they know that their wallets are available to plunder.

Old’ should stop being a bad word. I heard from a friend that in Singapore, it is now quite common to see large numbers of 50+ Chinese going to bangra classes, as they have learnt that it is very good for their bones, keeps their muscles toned , and is a good way to meet other people! People in the west talk about beginning life at 40 and even get married at 50 and 60 when they find their ideal companion for their sunset years. It may be a long way before we begin to accept such ideas but I think if people could liberate themselves from thinking and feeling ‘old’ there are still many ways in which they could make their old age enjoyable. The best age-defying mechanisms come from our thoughts and not from applying creams and lotions. I do not mean to over- romanticize old age as the high point of one’s life which it certainly isn’t; but my point is just that when you know something to be inevitable you might as well be prepared to face it with grace. It just seems the smart thing to do. There is a very thin line between dying alone and living free and it is completely decided by the way you decide to look at old age.



*Vanaprastha - is the third stage in the 4 main stages of life classified in Hiduism - Brahmacharya( student), grihastha (householder) Vanaprastha (retirement from worldly attachments) and Sanyasa (renunciation)

Sesame Stir-Fried Veggies



I'm finally back home. We have had a stressful and heartbreaking two weeks as we flew out to the west coast for my Father-in-Law's funeral. We've eaten from take-out windows while driving in the car more times than I can count and I'm surprised I don't have scurvy yet from surviving on french fries, sushi and Starbuck's coffee. I'm so ready to cook a delicious, healthy meal in my own kitchen with my own hands and sit at my own table. Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. It was so encouraging and totally put a smile on my (stressed out) face.

Before all the calamity ensued, Steve and I had some friends over for a homemade Chinese food feast where we served up some delicious Chinese Steamed Spareribs in Black Bean Sauce, Lemon Chicken with Fried Rice and this simple and delicious side dish. It was a bit of an accident we whipped up one night with some leftover vegetables in the crisper. And a happy accident at that.

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Serves 4


Any combination of vegetables you like (My fave is mushrooms, broccoli and celery), chopped into 1 inch pieces
Minced garlic
Sesame oil
Vegetable oil
Sesame seeds, toasted (totally optional)

In a wok or frying pan over medium high heat, add a couple tablespoons of vegetable oil. When pan is hot add the vegetables and stir-fry for a few minutes. Add the minced garlic. I find that if you add the garlic now instead of at the beginning you avoid burning it....burned garlic is very bad. Very bitter and very bad.

Stir-fry for about 5 more minutes until the vegetable are to desired tenderness. They should be soft but still have a bit of a crunch left. Drizzle over about a tablespoon of sesame oil. You don't want to use the sesame oil to fry the veggies because it has a very low smoke point (Read: it will burn). It's not a cooking oil, but a seasoning or a flavoring. Toss to coat well and top with toasted sesame seeds.


Click here for printable version of Sesame Stir-Fried Veggies.
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THE RESULTS?
This is one of my new favorite ways to cook vegetables as a side dish. I love the simplicity. I once tried to get all complicated by adding soy sauce and ginger and it came out all wrong. The flavors of the vegetables got lost and so did the fragrant sesame flavor. Plain and simple is best.

It's too bad I had to learn that lesson when I was trying to impress my company.

My Head & Heart Hurt

I'll make this short because my patience and my energy have been ground very thin.

My father-in-law died on Good Friday. He was a good man and I can't even begin to describe how much he will be missed. We canceled our Easter plans and flew out to Vancouver. This trip has done nothing short of turn my brain into mush from all the funeral planning, estate settling, and nasty cold and flu Eva and I both got. She has been incredibly whiny and sometimes unbearable when our emotions have been especially fragile. After all the "business" we've had to take care of in the last week, our family finally got to enjoy some down time at Stanley Park. We had 3 blissful hours where we could laugh, smile and have our shoulders feel light again....only to return to our rental vehicle having been broken into and my husband's back pack stolen which held his laptop, bible that I gave him for Christmas, the girls birth certificates and a bunch of other stuff. On top of the huge load of things that need to be taken care of before we fly back on Wednesday, we will also be making a trip to the police department, dealing with car insurance and the rental company.

Vancouver is kicking my ass.

Raskadam


Its been quite a few months since I had Raskadam one of my favourite sweet. So thought of giving this a shot. The recipe was adapted from 'Ruchira' a well known recipe book in Pune.

Raskadam
Ingredients
3.5 Cup Milk
1 Spoon Vinegar
1.5 Cup Sugar
1.5 Cup Powdered Sugar
4 Cup Khoya
A pinch of Saffron
1 Cup Grated Paneer

Method
  • Warm couple spoon of milk and add the safron. Keep aside.
  • Heat the remaining milk
  • When the milk starts to boil add vinegar mixed with a spoon of water and stir continuously.
  • When the milk cudles and water is separated out, throw out excess water and run it through the cold water
  • Squeeze this mixture in a cotton cloth and drain out the water.
  • Mix it thourghly and make the dough out of it.
  • Prepare around 25 balls out it (small sized
  • Mix the sugar with the 6 cup water in the cooker and boil it
  • Add these small balls in it and let it boil for around 5 minutes
  • Cover the cooker with lid and boil for another 5 minutes
  • Remove the lid, add half cup of water and boil for another 5 min. Let the balls cool down. Take out these balls and spread them on the plate and keep aside
  • In a nonstick pan on medium flame cook the grated paneer till golden in colour and keep aside to cool down
  • Mix grated khoya, powdered sugar, safron-milk and make the dough out of it.
  • By now the paneer would be cooled and crispy. Powder it in the mixie and spread it in a separate plate.
  • Now is the time to assemble the raskadam. Cover the cooked ball with the khoya mixture by froming a cup shape around it and closing it after inserting a ball in it. Roll the ball in the powdered paneer

Notes
Be careful not to burn the paneer and stir it continuously while cooking, I did that so that it was easy to powder the paneer and the raw smell from it goes away.
The ball preparation for the raskadam is similar to the rasgulla except prepare small sized balls and quantity of sugar-water.
You can add orange or pink - red colour in the khoya mixture but i didnt have it and hence didnt use it.

Egg Slices


Yesterday I tried this something different dry item from boiled eggs. Turned out quite nice and a good change from routine egg dishes.

Egg Slices
Ingredients
4 Eggs
1 Onion
2 Green Chillies
1/4 Spoon Red Chilli Powder
1/4 Spoon Corriander Powder
A pinch of Black Pepper Powder
A pinch of Cinnamon Powder
Corriander Leaves to garnish
Salt to taste
Oil

Method
  • Boil eggs in water, slice them and keep aside
  • In a flat pan, heat oil and add finely sliced green chillies in it
  • Add onion and cook till onion is translucent
  • Add black pepper powder, corriander powder, cinnamon powder, sliced eggs and salt. Cook for 3-4 minutes with constant stirring.
  • Garnish with finely chopped corriander leaves and red chilli powder

Notes
I didnt want to use to many masalas and also the usual combination of masalas in it as I wanted to give it different taste. Cinammon was great choice as it did distinct it from other routine dishes.

Mexi-Fries Deluxe


What do you do when you are having serious cravings for Chili Fries, Taco's and Nacho's all at once? Combine them into a super delicious supper that is filling, fun and frugal.

And eat your heart out.

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Serves 4

4 large potatoes
Vegetable oil
Salt and pepper

3/4 lb ground beef
2 tbsp taco seasoning (homemade or store-bought)

1 tomato, seeded and chopped
3 green onions, chopped
Sour cream
3/4 cup grated cheddar (or Monterey Jack)


Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Scrub potatoes really well. Cut in half length wise, and then cut into 1/8 inch slices. Spread potatoes out on two baking sheets in a single layer. Drizzle with vegetable oil and then sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place in the oven and bake for 12-15 minutes. Take the oven fries out and flip them over and place back in the oven for another 8-12 minutes. The baking time is very dependent on how thick you sliced your potatoes. If during the halfway point you are trying to flip the potatoes over and they are stuck to the pan, just place them back in the oven for a few minutes. They will release from the pan when they are crisped up, then you will be able to flip them.

While the oven fries are baking, brown the ground beef in a large skillet over medium high heat. Once the meat is browned, add the spices and a couple tablespoons of water. Cook for a couple minutes then remove from heat.

Place a pile of oven fries on a plate. Top with seasoned ground beef, shredded cheese, diced tomato, and top with a dollop of sour cream. Sprinkle with green onions. We love to save the packages of hot sauce from our favorite Mexican restaurant and serve the mexi-fries with hot sauce or salsa.


Click here for printable version of Mexi-Fries Deluxe.
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THE RESULTS?
Can I just say this was a BRILLIANT idea. My husband and I both scarfed down our plate of mexi-fries, Steve saying between bites "this is soooooo good babe!" Your favorite hot sauce is just the icing on the cake....or the hot sauce on the nacho fries, I mean. Whatever. It's good, cheap and I will be making this again for sure.


This recipe is being entered into the May round up of Original Recipes on Culinarty. Lore hosts this blog event every month and it showcases blogger's own concocted recipes.

Meal Plan Week 20


Here's the deal: I need to back off a bit from blogging. My girls need me during the day and my husband needs me in the evening. I'm sure you've noticed my lack of blogging in the last month or two...I need to unplug and connect with them more. The good news is, probably not a whole lot will change around here. I will still post meal plans and take two weeks to get through posting recipes ;) Despite my absence, I really appreciate all the comments I've been getting lately. You're all so wonderful and encouraging. Thank you.

Without further adieu, my meal plan for the week. It's short since the girls and I are leaving on Friday to go spend a week with my Dad.


Day 1: Mexi-Fries Deluxe with Salsa Ensalada
An idea I had to combine homemade oven fries with the delicious flavors of nacho's. It's gotta be a winner.

Day 2: Fusion Chicken Wraps
We love this healthy meal which combines our favorite Asian peanut sauce in a Mediterranean wrap.

Day 3: Chinese Steamed Spareribs in Black Bean Sauce, Lemon Chicken with Fried Rice, and Sesame Stir-Fried Veggies
We've invited some friends over for dinner and I'm cooking up a delicious homemade Chinese food feast.

Day 4: Charbroiled Pork Vermicelli (Bun Thit Nuong)
One of my favorite Vietnamese dishes that I've perfected.

Day 5: Bistro Burgers with Bacon and Creamy Honey-Dijon Sauce
The first night my hubby is all alone, and I figured he'd want some man food :)

*Recipes to come this week

For more meal plan ideas check out my Complete List of Meal Plans or the Menu Plan Monday Links hosted at Orgjunkie.

Malaysian Night

On Sunday our Secret-Secret Geography Club got together for some Malaysian fare. We wanted to do a country that was really quite foreign to us, so we had to research recipes and use ingredients we weren't familiar with. I was really looking forward to trying food that was totally different.

Our group delivered the delicious goods as usual. Lindsey brought a Malaysian Spicy Fruit Salad called Rojak. It was a combination of cucumber, pineapple, jicama, mango, and green apple tossed with a dressing of chili, sugar, lime juice and shrimp paste. But after Lindsey opened the jar of shrimp paste and smelled it, she decided to skip out on it. It's REALLY strong smelling and I can understand why she would shy away....kinda almost like fishy dog food. But stronger. Anyways, the whole mixture was topped with ground peanuts and black sesame seeds. It was really interesting. The combination of spicy, sweet and sour seemed to really work. It was refreshing.




Lindsey also brought a dish of chilied eggs. Yes, I know it looks weird. There was just no salvaging the look of it for the picture. It's essentially eggs in a chili-coconut sauce. The eggs were first hard-boiled, then fried, then simmered in the coconut sauce. This one was just a little too weird for me. I think everyone felt the same.

I made Beef Rendang from Rasa Malaysia's website. It was a long process that took about 2.5 hours to prepare but sooooooo worth it! I loved the flavors of the chili's, lemongrass, ginger, garlic, and coconut combined with the warm spicy star anise, cinnamon and cloves. I hate to say it, but I think I'm really starting to like anise and cinnamon in savory dishes...if it's done right of course. After frying a homemade spice paste the beef, coconut milk, toasted coconut and more spices were added and then simmered and stewed. You let the mixture stew until all the liquid is gone and by the end the pieces of beef are being fried. At the end of the 2-3 hour process all the spices and flavorings have combined to create this amazing earthy, spicy beef that is just incredible. Steve thought it was possibly the best thing I have ever cooked. Now that's a compliment!


Dan also purchased some shrimp paste, but he actually ended up cooking with it. It went into these spicy long beans. After smelling the shrimp paste and the odor filled the room as Dan cooked with it, my stomach was turning thinking about eating these beans. But just like fish sauce can be potent and you would never eat on it's own, when you cook with it in small portions it adds great flavor. So shrimp paste and all, these beans were good. Like...really good.


It seemed we couldn't have Malaysian food without Malaysian satays. Dan made these and they were incredibly delicious. They tasted just like the satays I made with a recipe again from Rasa Malaysia. Everyone was fighting over the last few skewers.

Can't have satays without homemade peanut sauce.

I think we all loved our Malaysian feast and all the unexpected flavors. The last couple months have been filled with countries we love like India, China and Mexico, but they were all very familiar dishes. Besides the skewers, I had never tried any of these dishes before. New, exciting and delicious.

The next country we are going to explore is the culinary delights of France. That means fresh spring vegetables, butter, cream, pastry, cheese and copious amounts of wine.

I can hardly wait.