”Former Miss India Nafisa Joseph dead”

When I saw the headlines in the television news this morning I remembered the beautiful girl I had seen in “The Wearhouse” on commercial street 4 years ago. She was autographing tee shirts all of that day there for her fans who had queued up. When the sales assistant asked me if I wanted the tee shirt I had purchased to be autographed, she looked up and I saw a very pretty face and flawless skin. I remembered feeling a little jealous that nature had showered so much of her bounty on one person. Later I had seen her anchoring many television shows and admired the way she carried herself with so much confidence and her ability to articulate so well. She was not just a pretty face. She spoke sensibly and well and deserved every bit of her success. She had so much going for her and so much she could have done if she had decided to. Judging by the number of youngsters who had queued up for her autograph, she was obviously some kind of a role model to the younger generation – she could have worked for a cause is only she had channelised her gifts in that direction.

I have read that people resort to suicide if they perceive one of the following:

No hope for the future.

No hope that things will ever change.

No hope that about ever being well or stable.

No hope about their ability to meet their goals in life

No hope that the pain will ever stop.

No hope about being able to change it.



This was a woman who was anchoring the celebrations on Star TV for Simi Garewal’s completion of 100 episodes of her show “Rendezvous”. There she was among the who’s who of Indian business and society carrying all of her 25 years with total comfort and ease among the ambanis and the bachchans.

Are we increasingly learning better social skills and the ability to deal with others while we are unable to cope with our own selves? Are we becoming too soft that we would rather opt out of tough situations than stand up to them and face them bravely? Is it too tough to ask for help, are there only fair weather friends?



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From "If" by Rudyard Kipling:



 If you can make one heap of all your winnings 

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings 

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute 

 With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 

 And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!



 

There is a television quiz program for school children called “India’s Child Genius”. The children who qualify to participate in the program are extremely bright and clever, good in academics (They invariably introduce themselves as “ I always top in my class”) and seem to have an extraordinary memory for facts and figures and obviously have a very high Intelligence quotient.

But is this what genius is all about? This is the etymology of the word:

genius - 1390, from L. genius "guardian deity or spirit which watches over each person from birth; spirit, incarnation, wit, talent," from root of gignere "beget, produce" (see kin), from PIE base *gen- "produce." Meaning "person of natural intelligence or talent" first recorded 1649.



All these children obviously have a natural gift for learning but still genius seems inappropriate to define them. It seems to me that a true genius would never be able to qualify for one of these competitions because if a child is able to conform to the demands of a structured educational system and these type of competitions , his genius would have been numbed  if he was born with one. That explains why a mathematical genius like Srinivasan Ramanujam actually failed in their school (of course not in math but in English and History and all other sciences!) R.K.Narayan failed twice in his university entrance examination. Einstein failed the qualifying examination for Engineering studies!!

Genius cannot be acquired, taught, developed, practiced. You have to born with it. An advertisement for Apple Computers defines genius best:

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”



So it may actually be good news for kids who did not qualify for these programs - they may not know who invented the telescope or what the parliament of Russia is called but may actually have genius for something else. Parents, please do yourselves and the world a  favour - stop pushing them to be "like" others and help bring out the best in them! No television program or competition or examination has yet been designed to discover a genius!!



 

While comparing Carnatic music with Hindustani or Western Classical, I have always wondered about the importance attached to the lyrics by using specific compositions generally known to lovers of music. It seemed so much of a limiting factor, and sometimes even a distraction from enjoying the beauty of the raga being rendered. On the contrary, a Hindustani rendition seemed to have unlimited space available for the singer to scale up and down, in and through, exploring a raga completely,pushing to the fullest limits of the singer's creativity.

I realised the value of lyrics suddenly the other day when I heard Lalgudi jayaraman playing a famous song by Subramanya Bharathi - "Theerada Vilayaatu Pillai". The song is about the uncontrollable prankster ( theerada vilayattu pillai) Kannan ( another name for Lord Krishna) and goes on to talk about his naughty tricks on his playmates. Jayaraman's violin told the story with the frustration of a Gopi who was so fed up of the incessant tricks - it complained but not out of anger but with the indulgence of one who could not help loving the naughty rascal; it narrated the tales half smiling and half annoyed at the little one's audacity. And in the tale of Krishna bringing fruits to the gopi to eat and then snatching it away while she is settling down to enjoy it, one could actually hear the fruit being slapped out of the girl's hand - it was such magic. The experience was so total - a lovely story,a nice poem and music that brought it all to life. My knowledge of the song and the words created this special rapport between me and the music which would have been lost on someone who just related to the music and didnt know the words of the song.

Perhaps this is the reason why lyrics still have such importance in Carnatic music - to reach out to a larger audience, to create the mood and a rapport between the singer and the listener. And that also explains why so many South Indians can relate to carnatic music so easily.Otherwise it would have remained too elitist and exclusive.

No way an angel, but it's Charlize all the way

(Review of film "Monster" by Siddhartha Vaidyanathan)



There are a few characters who plead to be brushed

aside. And if you have watched her previous films,

Charlize Theron’s roles would perfectly fit the bill.

Her presence is in all her previous movies was just

that – a presence - and was easily replaceable.

Whether it was doing cartwheels on the beach and

leading a chic lifestyle in ‘Sweet November’ – apart

from devoting one month to each of her boyfriends – or

a sweet goody-two-shoes in ‘Cider House Rules’ or even

a paranoid wife in Devil’s Advocate – whose sole

purpose is to get a supernatural vision – we hardly

bother. So it’s no wonder that the recurring theme

when the Oscar nominations were announced was,

‘Charlize who’.



And then we realize Charlize why, when we see

‘Monster’. No goody maneuvers here as she crisply

slips into the character of Aileen Wuornos, a

prostitute who killed seven of her clients, was

famously branded as ‘America’s first female serial

killer’ and was convicted in Florida in 2002.

Ironically, the witness who gives the evidence against

her is her lesbian lover, Selby Wall (Christina

Ricci), and for whose love Aileen was willing to go to

any extent.



A miserable childhood riddled with fantasies of

stardom; of true love and a fretting for the ideal

guy. All this result in Aileen turning into a

hitchhiking hooker - a deeply frustrated one – and

takes her to point where she has just five dollars and

seriously contemplating suicide. That’s when she meets

Selby, in a gay bar.



It’s ironic that Aileen, who has fantasized about men

all her life, would ultimately find her ideal partner

in Selby, an ideal example of muddled adolescence. At

the same time Aileen has a terrible experience –

ending in murder - with a man who acts like a john but

actually tries to rape and kill her. Completely

shaken, Aileen wants to lead a respectable life and

give up the ways of the street once and for all. But

after some humiliating interview experiences and

Selby’s constant nagging for a fun and party life, she

is left with no choice.



Back to the ways of the street, but this time of blood

and gore. As a paranoid response to the rape-attempt,

she unleashes her anger on her clients. She takes

their money, traps them semi-naked – pretty much a

point of no return – and then shoots them with

cold-blooded venom. With that money, and her client’s

car on most occasions, she keeps Selby happy as they

swing through clubs and bars of Florida. The tough act

of oscillating from a psychotic killer to a loving

girlfriend within such a short period of time is

executed without the viewer even noticing. And

Charlize pulls it off with a fantastic swagger -

pushing her hair back with machismo, puffing a

cigarette with eyes askance, and spewing profanity at

one and all.



The most disappointing aspect about the movie is how

Ricci (Selby) dampens the intensity with her inept

performance. There are occasions when Aileen is

desperately traumatized, when Selby chooses to contort

her face into a apparently confused state and utters

some powerful statements insipidly. In this case,

Selby will probably be the character being brushed

aside by many.



Inevitably, Aileen gets caught, when she is looking

for some change to make a phone call, and gets her due

from the jury. But the enduring moment is when she is

captured outside a bar, surrounded by cops and she

wails out, ‘I just want to call my girl’.



The phenomenal face-change that Toni G has given

Charlize and her ability to sustain the intensity

lives on once the movie is done. There are shades of

Hilary Swank, winner of the best actress award in 2000

for her role as a cross-dressing teenager in ‘Boys

Don’t Cry’. Swank’s performace was described by the

New York Times as “a bleak slice of American life that

leaves a bitter aftertaste”. Charlize's deliverence

isn’t too far behind.

Name

Name

Yesterday, there was a message on the answering machine from someone called Manjiri. Normally I would have ignored any call from strangers . Must be one more person selling me credit cards or home loans – but Manjri? The name was too classy to be associated with someone who would call you at odd hours and pester you to take a loan. Though everyone says almost reflexively that oft abused statement, “what is in a name?” and feel good like they invented the phrase, names do carry their value at least for me. I find it impossible to be rude to people with names as sensitive as Charulatha, Chitralekha,Kalpana and Madhulika.
It is the same when it comes to ordering drinks. I invariably end up ordering something with a name like Green eye opener, Pink sunrise, Blue Sky, Electric lemonade or frozen passion without caring to see what it might contain.While you cannot force me to have even a drop of grasshopper or screwdriver - no, not even with a gun pressed to my temple!
And when it comes to desserts and sweets, while I am indifferent to the laddoos and Mysorepaks and Jalebis , it is entirely impossible when you offer me something with a name like champakali or abor khabo or rum n raisin,death by chocolate or wild n reckless.
Very highly creative minds must be working at naming these for the likes of dumb me. But there is a down side to this too. Names such as this tend to set the expectation level very high and can put off the customer if they do not live up to it. For example I would be more disappointed with a Manjiri selling loans or slimming capsules than if it were a Geetha or a Sudha.I would feel very cheated with Manjiri for not living up to her name.
My aunt tells me that I am not alone in this - she asked her son, my cousin, to buy snakegourd from the vegetable market. He refused to ask for something with a name as slimy as snake gourd. She tried persuading him with its Tamil name " Pudalangai". No go!! equally bad or may be worse! He saw her disappointment and tried to meet her halfway. May be it had abetter name in Hindi? She said "Chichinda." That was the final straw! she never got to eat her favorite pudalangai as long as he did the shopping!!!
Looks like this runs in the family!

Life is so strange – sometimes total strangers leave a mark in your memory forever.

Like the song that floated from the window of a house in a street where you went just once for something.

Or the warm smile of an old lady after you helped her cross the road

Or a scene outside a house where you had stopped the car during a traffic jam – a father and daughter sharing a joke or a little girl with a dog .

There is something intense and captivating in that moment that your memory just captures it like a photograph. You never knew these people but they have touched some part of you.



Today Julie Tisdale, a complete stranger , whom I shall never meet, came into my life for a few moments.I shared a whiff of a special moment from her life through a thank you note that she wrote which found its way into my hands after many years.

I had picked up “Still Life with Woodpecker” at a used book store yesterday. This morning as I turned over to page 39 this card fell from the page. I should have thrown the card away and proceeded to read but somehow it had the fascination of a clue in a treasure hunt. So I tossed the book aside and read the card in stead:

A tiny elegant personalized card used for thank you notes or short private notes, the top flap announced the sender’s name in a stylish font:

Mr.& Mrs William E.Tisdale, jr.

Inside was a handwritten note:

Dear Kar-Kar,

You guys are the greatest ! What a perfect gift you chose in the T.V. In fact, it really was my favorite. The shower was so much fun; I couldn't have asked for a funner evening. Thanks for everything.

Love

Julie

P.S. Bill loves the T.V. too. So, now he can cook & I can watch Knots on the big one!



This note gave me the thrill of a cryptic clue in a treasure hunt. I tried to see what clues lay in the letter about the person who wrote it and the background of the note.

There was a shower where Karkarand company had gifted a T.V to Julie, currently Mrs Tinsdale Jr..- More likely a bridal shower .

Julie is English or American? “favorite” and “funner” are certainly American and then the reference to Knots – most certainly American!

Knots Landing, television's second longest running drama (after Gunsmoke), ran from 1979 to 1993 on CBS television. Produced by Lorimar (owned by Time/Warner) the 14 seasons focused on the lives and loves of neighbors who lived in a southern California cul-de-sac.

So Kar- Kar used the thank you note as a bookmark, which found its way into the used book store along with the book.

Kar-Kar, very thoughtful of you! Btw,how did you like the book?

Julie, I hope you still love the television as much. Which soap do you watch now that Knots is over?

Bill, how is the cooking coming along?



This is much like watching one episode of a long running soap – you don’t know what happened before and will never know what happened afterward.

This tiny card and the 4 lines told a story better than some of our 2 and half hour movies.

Recently I read the biography of a living legend in Indian Music – an icon whose name is pronounced with a near reverence by one and all. She is held in esteem not only for her lovely voice and her contribution to music but also for her personality. There is an aura almost spiritual about her. She never seemed to even know the magnitude of her success. For her, singing was just something she did naturally from her soul like the lark and the cuckoo – she did not do it for money or fame.

She was born into a caste which did not have much acceptance in society – they were called the “entertainment class” but her marriage, her dedication to her work, her personality and her way of life raised her completely above her birth and totally “Sanskritised” her that no one cares to mention anything disparaging about the class she came from. She is celebrated and loved for what she is – the person, the singer, one of the rare gems of India, yes, a Bharat Ratna..

As a twenty year old, she too had a great love; a handsome and brilliant young man who was another musical phenomenon of her time. She thought there would be no purpose in her life if she did not marry him.

But fate had other plans and she married another man who was deeply in love with her. This man polished her, drew the career path for her, steered its course to the last detail, found the powerful backing for show casing her music in the right arenas and managed the publicity and literally created her brand equity. She just knew how to sing and sing from her heart and he did the rest. Without him, her biographer says, she “ might just have been a face in the crowd, a great voice among several great voices. With him she became the “queen of music, a title bestowed upon her by Jawaharlal Nehru.

But in the end was she happy? Would she have been happier had she married the man she was so much in love with? Hypothetical questions for which one will never know the answers including herself. Who knows what might have been?

Perhaps, just perhaps, the woman in her might have been fulfilled and contented if she had followed the course of her love but the singer would have had a brilliant few years and then become a footnote in musical history. Voices like that are not created by God to be lost in a crowd . She deserves every bit of all the adulations, accolades and adoration that she has enjoyed all her life, sharing space with presidents and princes. We should be grateful that she chose the path she did for what she gave to the world and what the world gave back to her.

What might have brought her more happiness than the contentment of having served Man and God well during one’s limited life and be recognized for one’s worth during one’s lifetime?