There was a discussion on a recent social trend called "polyamour" on Radio canada.Apparently it refers to a group of individuals who live in a kind of open relationship. They claim that there are no issues of jealousy or possessiveness and they are able to live in perfect harmony. It seemed a little bizarre and somewhat civilisationally backward to me but another friend said he could perfectly understand the relationships as monogamy is not a natural tendency for humans.He went on further to say that it required very evolved minds to be in such relationships. I thought about it and understood his point of view but I am still not convinced that it could work all that well given the natural tendency of humans to be jealous - particularly when it is a person one is in love with.
I have always found it difficult to understand how women in olden times put up with bigamy when it was legal. It was usually done for reasons of procreation- if the first wife was not able to produce a child within 5 years of marriage or if there was no male child, the man married again. Both wives enjoyed equal status among the family and the children.Of course there were cases when one was preferred over the and there was plotting and scheming which would have made a great television serial. Financial constraints of being able to maintain two wives acted as a deterrent for many. But royalty had no such constraints and almost every king had many wives which was also a matter of strategy - the kingdom of the in-laws would naturally be allies to the king in case of war. In the Mahabharatha, Krishna sent Arjuna on this allies acquisition binge in anticipation of the war with the result arjuna maried a new princess almost every year.And many of the princesses saw their husband only for one year in their whole life - what a destiny for a princess! or did they mind at all? In a sense polyamour was perhaps invented in India - remember panchali marrying the 5 pandavas who each had other wives?
Perhaps women in those times accepted this as natural for a man for specific reasons as above and so trained themselves not to be possessive or jealous of the other women. Concepts such as fidelity were not made much of and that is precisely why Rama's loyalty to one wife in the Ramayana stands out as a major virtue. I guess if we were to ask women of today fidelity would probably rank as their top expectation from their spouse.
Then why polyamour? Perhaps this is happening in countries where marriage is not being viewed as the most ideal form of relationship between a man and a woman. They do not want to be bound by law or contract but by their emotions and understanding. I guess polyamour is just the next step in this ongoing tendency to break free from the conditions that a traditional married relationship imposes on the couple.
I still think all this will only complicate things. With two people, they say, there are three relationships psychologically. Imagine what would happen with so many people in relationship. But I know who would be happy. Film directors who specialise in love triangles - now they can experiment with other geometric shapes.
And imagine the number of songs possible in such a story- I think there may be a revival of the old musical format!
I have always found it difficult to understand how women in olden times put up with bigamy when it was legal. It was usually done for reasons of procreation- if the first wife was not able to produce a child within 5 years of marriage or if there was no male child, the man married again. Both wives enjoyed equal status among the family and the children.Of course there were cases when one was preferred over the and there was plotting and scheming which would have made a great television serial. Financial constraints of being able to maintain two wives acted as a deterrent for many. But royalty had no such constraints and almost every king had many wives which was also a matter of strategy - the kingdom of the in-laws would naturally be allies to the king in case of war. In the Mahabharatha, Krishna sent Arjuna on this allies acquisition binge in anticipation of the war with the result arjuna maried a new princess almost every year.And many of the princesses saw their husband only for one year in their whole life - what a destiny for a princess! or did they mind at all? In a sense polyamour was perhaps invented in India - remember panchali marrying the 5 pandavas who each had other wives?
Perhaps women in those times accepted this as natural for a man for specific reasons as above and so trained themselves not to be possessive or jealous of the other women. Concepts such as fidelity were not made much of and that is precisely why Rama's loyalty to one wife in the Ramayana stands out as a major virtue. I guess if we were to ask women of today fidelity would probably rank as their top expectation from their spouse.
Then why polyamour? Perhaps this is happening in countries where marriage is not being viewed as the most ideal form of relationship between a man and a woman. They do not want to be bound by law or contract but by their emotions and understanding. I guess polyamour is just the next step in this ongoing tendency to break free from the conditions that a traditional married relationship imposes on the couple.
I still think all this will only complicate things. With two people, they say, there are three relationships psychologically. Imagine what would happen with so many people in relationship. But I know who would be happy. Film directors who specialise in love triangles - now they can experiment with other geometric shapes.
And imagine the number of songs possible in such a story- I think there may be a revival of the old musical format!
